IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the total world
population
Use synonyms
 (by percentage) in 1950, 2002 and the projection to 2050 for
India
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
On
Fix capitalization
on
show examples
 one hand,
China
Use synonyms
 has
the
Verb problem
had the
show examples
 biggest
population
Use synonyms
 during the past years
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 has
the
Verb problem
had the
show examples
 smallest.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
 is the only country that
counts with
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a projection of
increasement
Check wording
an increase
show examples
 for 2050. In 1950,
China
Use synonyms
 had around 23% of the total world
population
Use synonyms
, followed by
India
Use synonyms
 with 15%,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 around 7% and
Japan
Use synonyms
 with less than 5%. In
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
show examples
is
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 possible to observe the same trend between the countries,
China
Use synonyms
the
Verb problem
had the
show examples
 highest percentage with 20%,
India
Use synonyms
 had a small increase to somewhere around 17%,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 had
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 to 5% and 2%, respectively.
India
Use synonyms
 is the only country with a projection of growth for 2050 reaching almost 20% of the total
population
Use synonyms
.
China
Use synonyms
on
Punctuation problem
, on
show examples
 the other
Check wording
hand
show examples
side
Punctuation problem
side,
show examples
 will have a significant decrease to 15%,
as well as
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
, which is expected to have only 1% in 2050.
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
 is expected to maintain their world
population
Use synonyms
 by 5%,
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
2002
Change preposition
in 2002
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, india, china, usa, japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • World population
  • Percentage
  • Projection
  • Demographics
  • Trend
  • Significant change
  • Ranking
  • Shifts
  • Decline
  • Growth
  • Comparative
  • Population distribution
  • Notable
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Population dynamics
  • Data interpretation
  • Summarize
  • Trends over time
What to do next:
Look at other essays: