IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart shows the number of mobile phoones and landlines per 100 people in selected coountries.

the chart shows the number of mobile phoones and landlines per 100 people in selected coountries.
The bar graph illustrates the figures of mobile
ohones
Correct your spelling
phones
 and
landlines
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 used in every 100 nations in seven countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, as it is observed in most countries
mobile
Punctuation problem
, mobile
show examples
phones
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been used more than
landlines
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in Canada, the USA, and
Denmark
Punctuation problem
Denmark,
show examples
landlines
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more
useable
Correct word choice
usable
show examples
. In Italy, mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 possessed the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 figures
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 90,
while
Linking Words
 in Canada it is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 lowest number of usage by nearly 40.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in Sweden and the
UK
Add a comma
UK,
show examples
 the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 88 and 85
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. 68 is the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
landlines
Use synonyms
 in Sweden,
while
Linking Words
 in the UK it is followed by 58.
However
Linking Words
, the
diffirence
Correct your spelling
difference
 of figures between mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and
landlines
Use synonyms
 in Germany is 10.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 Denmark, there is a variance of 5 regarding mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and
landlines
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words landlines, phones with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mobile phone
  • landline
  • per 100 people
  • country
  • number
  • more
  • less
  • higher
  • lower
  • trend
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gap
  • difference
  • compare
  • data
  • chart
  • figure
  • pattern
  • reason
  • due to
  • because
  • income
  • wealth
  • time
  • year
  • now
  • today
  • growth
  • change
  • support
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