The professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more than the sports and entertainment stars or personalities. Do you agree or disagree?

this

Linking Words

modern world, whether or not

existence

Correct article usage

the existence

show examples

famous

Replace the word

fame

show examples

is necessary has been a widely debated issue. Some

people

Use synonyms

hold the belief that

celebrity

Correct article usage

a celebrity

show examples

the

Verb problem

is the

show examples

most

major

Correct word choice

important

show examples

person.

However

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement. Indeed, discipline is better achieved in traditional settings

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

I think that each parent has to give a good example to their children. If every parent believed that

celebrities

Use synonyms

had a direct impact on their children,

then

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

would be

canceled

Change the spelling

cancelled

show examples

for every wrongdoing. It will make life difficult for everyone.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many

celebrities

Use synonyms

today are only known for their beauty, fashion, or money, not for real talent or hard work.

This

Linking Words

can create wrong impressions in the minds of young children. They might think that becoming rich and famous does not require any effort or education.

For example

Linking Words

, some influencers on social media become popular just by showing their lifestyle, not by doing something useful for society.

As a result

Linking Words

, many teenagers start to follow them and copy their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, which is sometimes not appropriate.

This

Linking Words

can lead to problems in school or at home. In conclusion, even if the internet enables

people

Use synonyms

life

Replace the word

live

show examples

on their own, I believe that

celebrities

Use synonyms

don’t play a crucial role in society.

Although

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

that day believe that

celebrities

Use synonyms

a bad

people

Use synonyms

, my family and I don’t think that.

kokenkazybek0

Oct 17, 2025

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planning

Plan your essay before you write. State your view in the intro and restate it in the end.

structure

Make ideas fit the topic. Each paragraph should show one idea with a small example.

language

Use simple words and short sentences. Check for grammar and spelling.

coherence

Link ideas with clear words like first, then, also, but, so.

content

Give a clear reason and an example for each point.

strength

Clear personal view is easy to see.

strength

Some examples from social media are used.

potential

The essay shows some effort to use examples to support a point.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

essential services
public well-being
societal progress
income disparity
market dynamics
supply and demand
rigorous training
emotional and physical demands
burnout
talent attraction
revenue generation
financial remuneration
ethical considerations

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