IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Task1 the diagrams give information about changes in a student accommodation.

Task1 the diagrams give information about changes in a student accommodation.
The map below gives information about modifications in
student
Use synonyms
 housing.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 in 2010 years at the north
side
Use synonyms
 there were various layouts,
however
Linking Words
, in present there are only
student
Use synonyms
bedroomsbedroom
Correct your spelling
bedrooms
. In 2010, at
first,
Linking Words
there was a main entrance from the west
side
Use synonyms
, and opposite, there was a hallway. And the nearby path had two main separated
rooms
Use synonyms
 , which were
Use synonyms
student's
Correct article usage
the student's
show examples
 bedroom and a bathroom.
Additionally
Linking Words
, on the east
side
Use synonyms
, there were other spaces which were one total learners' bedroom, their cooking area, and again
bedroom
Correct article usage
a bedroom
show examples
when
Punctuation problem
. When
show examples
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 footpath was located on the north
side
Use synonyms
 ,
and
Correct word order
apply
show examples
there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 a
Garden
Use synonyms
a
Correct word order
and a
show examples
living room. And
finally
Linking Words
, on the north and south sides were Gardens. At present, the entrance has no change;
however
Linking Words
, half of the path is en suite
rooms
Use synonyms
 spaced. On the east
side
Use synonyms
 , in the past, there were three layouts, and now it has no changes;
however
Linking Words
, the kitchen has become a social area.
In addition
Linking Words
, on the north
side
Use synonyms
 , in
corner
Correct article usage
the corner
show examples
, there was a
garden
Use synonyms
, now it has become
student
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
 and other
rooms
Use synonyms
 were replaced by
student
Use synonyms
 bedrooms.
Finally
Linking Words
, on the south
side
Use synonyms
, there is new car parking by replacing the
garden
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the
garden
Use synonyms
 on the north
side
Use synonyms
 stayed unchanged.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, however".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words student, side, rooms, garden with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: