The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living in Australian cities who bought and drank coffee and tea in the last 4 weeks.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living in Australian cities who bought and drank coffee and tea in the last 4 weeks.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the percentage of people living in Australian cities who bought and drank coffee and tea in the last 4 weeks.
The bar chart illustrates key information about the proportion of people living in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart who bought and drank
coffee
Use synonyms
and
tea
Use synonyms
in the
last
Linking Words
4 weeks. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that people who purches to went to a cafe to buy
coffee
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or
tea
Use synonyms
had the highest ratio in most of the Australian cities . In Sydney, 60% of people went to a cafe to buy
coffee
Use synonyms
or
tea
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,
whereas
Linking Words
less than 45% went to the store to buy
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
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or pick fresh
coffee
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. In Melbourne,
also
Linking Words
like citizens
also
Linking Words
prefer to buy
coffee
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or
tea
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.
According to
Linking Words
what is shown in Brisbane,we are noteable that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
many individuals who prefer to choose
coffee
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and
tea
Use synonyms
have decreased until reaching 55%, near to
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
consumption.
Also
Linking Words
, fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
sales had the lowest percentage compared with Australian cities. In Adelaide,
instant
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coffee
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,
coffee
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, and
tea
Use synonyms
had the same ratio. Fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
was the least favourite in Adelaide.
At the end
Linking Words
, Hobart residents are keener on
coffee
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or
tea
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than any other drink. Civilians,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
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more than fresh
coffee
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. Fresh
coffee
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was the least favoured in
this
Linking Words
city.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea, instant with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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