IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You are coming home late night and detained by police Department for a routine check(patrol). The officer on duty behaved with you rudely. Escalte the complaint to police Commissioner about this incident. In your letter Introduce yourself describe what happened say what you want police Commissinoer to do for you.

Dir
Use the right word
Dear
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 Sir/Madam, I am writing formally to complain
regarding
Change preposition
about
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 the disrespectful behaviour of a police officer
with
Change preposition
towards
show examples
 me. My name is Raman Tanwar,
resident
Correct article usage
a resident
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 of
alpha city society
Fix capitalization
Alpha City Society
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,
sector
Fix capitalization
Sector
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 25, Karnal. I have been living
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
 area since my birth. As
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I am 20 years old. I went to my friend's house to discuss about regular academic project.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I got late
to go
Wrong verb form
going
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 home at night
due to
Linking Words
 abundant assignment work.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I was
pull- overed
Wrong verb form
pulled over
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 for
patroling
Use the right word
patrolling
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 near
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 Hospital. I
never had
Correct word order
had never
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 been detained by enforcement, even for
general
Correct article usage
a general
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 vehicle check-up
Punctuation problem
,
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not more than an hour.
However
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 night, I was stopped by two traffic constables without any reason, even though I understand the value of
such
Linking Words
 roadside check-up for the
welfair
Correct your spelling
welfare
 of society. The situation was normal till that time, but when I asked him the reason, one of them
response
Replace the word
responded
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 with
hostiliy
Correct your spelling
hostility
, questioning, and started shouting
on
Change preposition
at
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 me
ruffley
Correct your spelling
roughly
. He
confsicated
Correct your spelling
confiscated
 my driving license for verification and did not reach out
me
Change preposition
to me
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 till one hour.
Finally
Linking Words
, he gave back my documents and
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
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 me to go without any apology for
Correct article usage
the inconveinence
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inconveinence
Correct your spelling
inconvenience
According to
Linking Words
 the Canadian Charter of Rights and
Freedom
Fix the agreement mistake
Freedoms
show examples
, I want to file a
complain
Replace the word
complaint
show examples
 against him for
Misbheaving
Correct your spelling
misbehaving
, Unlawful detention, Discrimination and Misuse of his powers. I respectfully request that you identify the officer and take the required actions. I would appreciate it if you ensure that he
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 proper training in public dealing. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest
conveinence
Correct your spelling
convenience
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 please contact me if you require any
further
Linking Words
 information.
Your Faithfully
Use the right word
Yours faithfully
show examples
, Raman Tanwar

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content
To raise the task response, clearly state your aim at the start and add key facts that support your case, such as date, place, and officer involved, and what action you want.
structure
For logical structure, use three clear parts: intro, what happened, and what you want. Put one main idea in each paragraph.
style
Fix greeting and closing. Use 'Dear Sir or Madam,' at the start and 'Yours faithfully,' at the end, then sign your name.
structure
To keep one idea per paragraph, start a new paragraph for each main point.
content
For complete response, give dates, places, names, and the outcome you seek. Show what action you want the police to take and ask for a reply.
tone
For tone, be calm and fair. Do not use harsh words. Keep the voice polite and respectful.
tone
Polite and formal tone overall
content
Clear request for action from the top officer
structure
Formal opening and closing present in the letter
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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