In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

In nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
show examples
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a lot of older
people
Use synonyms
who
retired
Verb problem
have retired
show examples
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
from their jobs. Some
people
Use synonyms
think there is no benefit from the ageing population
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
others think it doesn'
t
Use synonyms
matter and they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
don'
t
Use synonyms
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
the government. First of all, the
ageing
Correct word choice
elderly
show examples
people
Use synonyms
need care and help.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they can'
t
Use synonyms
do things alone
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
the hard tasks
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
a lot of them retired from their work, so they don'
t
Use synonyms
have
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
show examples
income.
For instance
Linking Words
, my grandma
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
nurse
Correct article usage
a nurse
show examples
with her because she can'
t
Use synonyms
move easily without aid. Some of them
sensitive
Verb problem
are sensitive
show examples
,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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if their
children
Use synonyms
don'
t
Use synonyms
visit
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
they think they're hating them. But
really
Punctuation problem
really,
show examples
sometimes the older
people
Use synonyms
busy
Verb problem
are busy
show examples
with their
life so
Check wording
lives
show examples
. They don'
t
Use synonyms
have that much time to visit them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the ageing population can help the younger and give them advice
also
Linking Words
information because they live longer than older
people
Use synonyms
. They
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
are also
show examples
very respectful and
loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
and the
children
Use synonyms
from their
children
Use synonyms
and pray for them and give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them gifts when they visit them.
For example
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
admire my grandpa, because
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
study abroad even though he
call
Correct subject-verb agreement
calls
show examples
me weekly and
ask
Correct subject-verb agreement
asks
show examples
me if
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
want something. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, the ageing population
very
Verb problem
is very
show examples
important for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and we should be nice
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
them and give them all
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they need.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
we
should be don'
Verb problem
shouldn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
compline
Use the right word
complain
show examples
even if we feel tired because
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
. All of the ageing,
acutely
Punctuation problem
acutely,
show examples
they are our parents or even our grandparents
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
we must purplish
this
Linking Words
idea
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
the
children
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
Give a clear view on the task. Decide which side you feel most and say your view in the end.
Structure
Make the idea clear in a few parts. Start with a short intro, then 2-3 body parts, and finish with a short end.
Coherence
Use better links to join ideas. Use words like also, but, for example to show how ideas go together.
Content
Add more detail to each point. Use simple, real examples that fit what you say.
Language
Check grammar and spelling. Use a simple word and keep verb form correct.
Idea
Some good ideas about care and value of old people are shown.
Content
The essay uses real family examples which connect to the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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