In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In nowadays
, there Change preposition
Nowadays
is
a lot of older Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
who Use synonyms
retired
Verb problem
have retired
Linking Words
also
from their jobs. Some Rephrase
apply
people
think there is no benefit from the ageing population Use synonyms
and
others think it doesn'Punctuation problem
, and
t
matter and they Use synonyms
are
don'Verb problem
apply
t
Use synonyms
effect
the government.
First of all, the Use the right word
affect
ageing
Correct word choice
elderly
people
need care and help. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Also
they can'Add a comma
Also,
t
do things alone Use synonyms
especially
the hard tasks Punctuation problem
, especially
and
a lot of them retired from their work, so they don'Punctuation problem
, and
t
have Use synonyms
constant
income. Correct article usage
a constant
For instance
, my grandma Linking Words
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
nurse
with her because she can'Correct article usage
a nurse
t
move easily without aid. Some of them Use synonyms
sensitive
, Verb problem
are sensitive
for
Linking Words
example
if their Punctuation problem
example,
children
don'Use synonyms
t
visit Use synonyms
them
they think they're hating them. But Punctuation problem
them,
really
sometimes the older Punctuation problem
really,
people
Use synonyms
busy
with their Verb problem
are busy
life so
. They don'Check wording
lives
t
have that much time to visit them.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, the ageing population can help the younger and give them advice Linking Words
also
information because they live longer than older Linking Words
people
. They Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
very respectful and Verb problem
are also
loves
their Correct subject-verb agreement
love
children
and the Use synonyms
children
from their Use synonyms
children
and pray for them and give Use synonyms
to
them gifts when they visit them. Change preposition
apply
For example
, Linking Words
i
admire my grandpa, because Fix capitalization
I
i
study abroad even though he Fix capitalization
I
call
me weekly and Correct subject-verb agreement
calls
ask
me if Correct subject-verb agreement
asks
i
want something.
In Fix capitalization
I
the
conclusion, the ageing population Correct article usage
apply
very
important for Verb problem
is very
the
society and we should be nice Correct article usage
apply
with
them and give them all Change preposition
to
what
they need. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In
Linking Words
addition
we Add a comma
addition,
should be don'
Verb problem
shouldn't
t
Use synonyms
compline
even if we feel tired because Use the right word
complain
them
. All of the ageing, Change preposition
of them
acutely
they are our parents or even our grandparents Punctuation problem
acutely,
so
we must purplish Punctuation problem
, so
this
idea Linking Words
between
Change preposition
among
people
Use synonyms
especially
the Punctuation problem
, especially
children
.Use synonyms
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Task response
Give a clear view on the task. Decide which side you feel most and say your view in the end.
Structure
Make the idea clear in a few parts. Start with a short intro, then 2-3 body parts, and finish with a short end.
Coherence
Use better links to join ideas. Use words like also, but, for example to show how ideas go together.
Content
Add more detail to each point. Use simple, real examples that fit what you say.
Language
Check grammar and spelling. Use a simple word and keep verb form correct.
Idea
Some good ideas about care and value of old people are shown.
Content
The essay uses real family examples which connect to the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite