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Writing Samples
Band 4

The three pie charts illustrate the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.

The three pie charts illustrate the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.
In 1981,
teachers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 accounted for the largest share at 40%, followed by other workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 at 28%.
Resources
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as books,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
furniture
Use synonyms
 and
equipment
Use synonyms
each
Punctuation problem
, each
show examples
 represented 15%,
while
Linking Words
insurance
Use synonyms
 was the smallest at 2%. By 1991,
teachers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 increased to 50%, remaining the dominant category. Other workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
 decreased to 22%, and
resources
Use synonyms
 rose slightly to 20%.
However
Linking Words
,
furniture
Use synonyms
 and
equipment
Use synonyms
 dropped significantly to 5%, with
insurance
Use synonyms
 unchanged at 3%. In 2001,
teachers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 fell to 45%, but still led the expenditures. Other workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
 declined to 15%, and
resources
Use synonyms
 decreased to 9%.
Furniture
Use synonyms
 and
equipment
Use synonyms
 surged to 23%, and
insurance
Use synonyms
 rose to 8%.
Overall
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 consistently formed the biggest portion, peaking in 1991.
Furniture
Use synonyms
 and
equipment
Use synonyms
 showed the most fluctuation,
while
Linking Words
insurance
Use synonyms
 gradually increased over the period. The school's spending shifted towards infrastructure by 2001, with reductions in
resources
Use synonyms
 and non-teaching staff
salaries
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words teachers, salaries, resources, furniture, equipment, insurance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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