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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided table illustrates information about the temperatures and hours of sunrising and sunsetting in both
London
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
 during the same period from 28 December
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 2018 to 30 December
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
London
Use synonyms
 was colder than
Sydney
Use synonyms
 throughout the three days,
while
Linking Words
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 the sun rose earlier than
Use synonyms
London
Change preposition
in London
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 and set later. In terms of
London
Use synonyms
,
in
Change preposition
on
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 Friday, the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 temperature was 9 celesuis,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest was 4.Notably, the
temperatures
Fix the agreement mistake
temperature
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 difference throughout the period was around 2 celesuis.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the time of sunrise remained relatively stable at 8.05. As far as
Sydney
Use synonyms
 is
concern
Replace the word
concerned
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, the weather in
Use synonyms
sydney
Fix capitalization
Sydney
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 is hotter than
London
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the average temperatures in
Sydney
Use synonyms
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 approximately
from
Change preposition
apply
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18 to 28.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the sunset in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 is later than
Use synonyms
London
Change preposition
in London
show examples
 by about 4 hours.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, sydney with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
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