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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph demonstrates the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban residents
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020, with a projection in two decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of residents increased rapidly in four countries, and with a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 projection. Malaysia showed the biggest increment
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the population,
while
Linking Words
 Thailand had the lowest increase during the period. In more detail, Malaysia increased the most dramatically from 30% in 1970 to over 70% in 2020, and
reachs
Correct your spelling
reaches
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
80% in 2040. Indonesia had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar upward pattern
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
grew
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 from 14% in 1970 to 50% in 2020,
projecting
Wrong verb form
projected
show examples
 to reach 60% in 2040.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Thailand remained
Change preposition
with the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 modest increase among these countries, with
sightly
Use the right word
slightly
show examples
 lower 20% in 1970 to
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
almost 30% in 2020.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 soared from 32% in 1970 to 50% in 1990, which was the peak in that period, and
then
Linking Words
 dropped to approximately 40% in 2010 before
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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