IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has made possible for everybody to read anything online for free. This will make it unnecessary to pay for printed materials such as books or newspapers in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The
internet
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 has created an opportunity to read anything online without paying, which will lead to not spending money on printed
materials
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such
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 as
books
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 or newspapers in the future.
While
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 some argue that
will
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this will
show examples
 happen in the near future, in my opinion, the value of printed
materials
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 will remain. The
internet
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 has broadened opportunities for learners to find
information
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. Nowadays, almost everyone has smartphones and access to the
internet
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, which makes it easy to find
information
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 and learn.
As a result
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, some
people
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 prefer reading new info from the
internet
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instead
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 of textbooks, which is not time-consuming and free.
Thus
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, many
people
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 have digits which make it possible to read
information
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 online. Despite of availability of online PDF
books
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 , some
people
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 still choose
paper
Check wording
apply
show examples
paper-based
books
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. One of the main reasons
of
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for
show examples
 it
the
Verb problem
is the
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 harmful effects of screen lights, which can
leadto
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lead to
 a sharp decrease in eyesight. especially among
people
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 who spend the screen time for long hours in their daily life. The second main reason is that some
people
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 enjoy reading when they touch to
papers
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pages
show examples
 of
books
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 and turn to other pages. Because for
such
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 type of
people
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 electronic version of
books
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 cannot give
this
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 feeling.
Therefore
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, online
materials
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 will not fully replace printed
materials
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. All things considered, the
internet
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 has enabled the news of learning
information
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 for free. But, it is not possible to change all
materials
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 to online , because of the special features of printed
materials
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. In my opinion, the printed version of the
books
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 will be popular in the future, despite the opportunities of the
internet
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 and online
materials
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.

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Task Response
Your main idea is that printed books will stay, but you need to state this clearly in your intro and give stronger proof from real life or facts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link your ideas with clear steps: start each paragraph with a topic sentence and use simple links like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example'.
Task Response
You try to answer the topic and give a view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some reasons are given for both sides.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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