IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to countrie's development. However ,other people hold the oppsite opinion. Discuss both view and give youe own opinion.

1.Rohrer and colleagues noted that each β -
adrenergic
Correct your spelling
β-adrenergic
 receptor (β-AR) subtype is necessary for development and cardiac function. Their idea comes from the limits of
drugs
Fix the agreement mistake
drug
show examples
 selectivity, since different receptors are found in the same tissues, so it is hard to tell each role apart.
Besides
Linking Words
, β-AR agonists are known to raise heart rate and contractility, but there is still a doubt about the subtype behind
this
Linking Words
 effect. Some studies saw both β1-and β2-ARs in the response, others mainly tied to
β1- AR
Correct your spelling
β1-AR
.

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content
The text has a good idea but it does not answer a clear question or show both sides. Add a short plan and say what you think.
coherence
Use more linking words to show order of ideas. Words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however', 'in the end' help readers follow your view.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Fix small mistakes to make the reading easy.
content
It uses technical terms about body parts, showing subject knowledge.
coherence
There is some flow between sentences.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promoting national pride
  • boosting the economy
  • improving infrastructure
  • prohibitively expensive
  • long-term financial burdens
  • social and environmental disruptions
  • catalyze positive economic
  • careful planning and budget management
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