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Band 5.5

the charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared

the charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared
The given bar
chart
Use synonyms
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
 information about
purposes
Check wording
the reasons
show examples
 why teenagers decide to
study
Use synonyms
. The pie
chart
Use synonyms
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
data
Check wording
apply
show examples
how individuals think the costs of
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
 education should be shared.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the students who studied because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they are interested in
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the majority.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 who went to school to meet
people
Use synonyms
 were the minority. In the pie
chart
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 think that
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
 must pay the most of the student costs for courses. In the
Use the right word
beginning
show examples
begging
Add a comma
begging,
show examples
 it’s noticeable in the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 that taxpayer has the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the student courses cost by 25%.
While
Linking Words
 the student himself has the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the course cost with 40%. In the bar
Use synonyms
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 you can notice that students who studied for the reason that they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 interested in
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 subject were the highest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 40%, whilst
people
Use synonyms
 who studied to meet
people
Use synonyms
 were the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 9%.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 you can notice that undergraduates who studied to improve prospects of promotion,and who studied because they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoy learning or
studying
Punctuation problem
studying,
show examples
 were the same
percentage
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 20%. To sum it up,
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to
study
Use synonyms
 for the
porpoise
Use the right word
purpose
show examples
 of interest in
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
were
Use the right word
where
show examples
 the major
,
Verb problem
is, while
show examples
while
Linking Words
schoolars
Correct your spelling
scholars
 who want to
study
Use synonyms
 to see new
people
Use synonyms
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 the minor. And the majority think that the person who
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
 must pay approximately
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the costs.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, study, people, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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