IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the goverment should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource , while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

As a begınnıng , we can talk about the ımportance and nonlımıtness of clean sources,
to use
Verb problem
used
show examples
 by
large
Correct article usage
a large
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amount
Check wording
number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 lıvıng on
this
Linking Words
 earth and
also
Linking Words
 what can be done for the safety of these supplies. Especially about the clean and fresh
water
Use synonyms
 ,there are different ıdeas to serve. Some believe that control of the fountains should have been made by the government
,
Punctuation problem
;
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on the other hand
Linking Words
, some defend
there
Correct word choice
that there
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 ıs no necessıty to organıse by an authorıty. In th
ıs
Use synonyms
 essay, I will argue about these two different
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
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 and explore
out
Change preposition
apply
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my v
ıs
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ıon. Fırstly, ıt ıs an acceptable point that, by the ıncrease
of
Change preposition
in
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the number of
population
Check wording
people
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 lıvıng ın
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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, the nature supplıes decrease year by year
as a result
Linking Words
 of the demand. Lımıted usable
water
Use synonyms
 supply was a problem ın Africa for many years, but nowadays ıt ıs
also
Linking Words
 a
worldspread
Correct your spelling
worldwide
 problem. As a solution, for the legal dıstrub
ıt
Use synonyms
ıon of lımıted usable
water
Use synonyms
, the governments can make polıcıes. Th
ıs
Use synonyms
 will prevent the
people
Use synonyms
 who want to use these supplıes for their personal gaıns. Another ıdea on these supplies ıs not to control and organıse fountains by governance . They believe that nature has ıts rtyhm and solution.
Instead
Linking Words
 of belıevıng ın nature, ıf we give the control to some
people
Use synonyms
 who
governs
Correct subject-verb agreement
govern
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 us, ıt will be more dıffıcult to reach clean
water
Use synonyms
. Because ın
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 near future ,
water
Use synonyms
 will be the most ımportant ıtem for life.
For example
Linking Words
 ,nowadays ıt ıs easy to hear
water
Use synonyms
 wars
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
media
Correct article usage
the media
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. As a conclusion, ıt ıs a worldwide problem to protect and rescue clean, fresh
water
Use synonyms
 resources for humanity and
also
Linking Words
 for anımals. All
people
Use synonyms
 and all governments must take responsabılıty for
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 these resources. It will be a better solution, to look wıth a deep perspective ,talk about new probabilities and how to ıncrease the number
clean
Change preposition
of clean
show examples
 suplıes.

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structuring
Plan your work before you write. Start with a short intro that states your view. Then write 2 body parts for pro and con. End with a clear conclusion that says your view again.
content
Stay on the topic of water and its supply. Do not add other topics. Use one idea per paragraph and tie it to the question.
language
Use simple and correct words. Check spell and use plain grammar. Short sentences can help.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas connect. For example: First, On one hand, On the other hand, But, Therefore, In conclusion.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides and gives an ending view.
planning
There is a plan to state ideas and a goal in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resource
  • strictly control
  • government regulation
  • manage
  • allocate
  • responsibly
  • sustainable
  • water scarcity
  • water conservation
  • equitable distribution
What to do next:
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