Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell food or drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. Do you agree or disagree?

Many
food
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shops sell products high in sugar, salt, and artificial flavours. In response to
this
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context, some argue that the sale of
such
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unhealthy foods and drinks should be restricted. I completely agree with
this
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view, as diet plays a central role in maintaining public
health
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. First and foremost, selling
food
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and drinks with little nutritional value can harm people’s
health
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.
This
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is mainly because most of these products contain excessive amounts of syrup, salt, and fat, which increases the risk of obesity and heart disease. If shops continue to freely sell
such
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items, people will consume them frequently and suffer long-term
health
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problems.
For instance
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, office workers who often eat hamburgers during their lunch break increase their cholesterol levels,
thus
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triggering the possibility of complications.
Furthermore
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, restrictions on the sale of unhealthy meals encourage
food
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businesses to improve their ingredients. When restaurants refuse to sell items high in sodium or chemicals, manufacturers are forced to reformulate their recipes to meet
health
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standards.
This
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not only benefits consumers but
also
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promotes a more responsible culinary sector. Jawa Teahouse,
for example
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, has adopted natural sweeteners
such
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as honey and stevia as a part of its campaign to promote a healthy lifestyle. From
this
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action, the shop has successfully shifted customer preferences from regular sugar to zero-calorie sweeteners. In conclusion,
food
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businesses should prioritise customer well-being by only producing
food
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and drinks with high nutritional value. Banning unhealthy
food
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protects the public from serious diseases and motivates
food
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sellers to create dietary alternatives.

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content
Use more clear facts to back up health claims.
content
Give more strong examples and explain how they show your point.
structure
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
grammar
Fix small grammar and word use to be sure, and slow down to check.
structure
The view is clear from the start and kept to the end.
coherence
Link words help the flow of ideas.
content
The essay is long enough to show good thought.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • shops
  • food
  • drinks
  • scientifically
  • proven
  • bad
  • health
  • agree
  • disagree
  • responsible
  • community
  • right
  • choose
  • eat
  • drink
  • education
  • information
  • healthy
  • banning
  • black market
  • illegal
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