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Writing Samples
Band 5

One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

One
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 of the widely discussed issues nowadays that governments experience is providing accommodation for their growing population
,
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while
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 trying to defend the ecosystem. In my opinion, it could be achieved by them
,
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 if they implement sustainable
development
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 standards and use proper technologies, but it would be very hard if the country is overpopulated. On the
one
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 hand, modern technology allows us to have more options on how to save our environment. People can build skyscrapers, towers
,
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 where many individuals can live in
one
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 place. It makes land usage more efficient.
In addition
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, sustainable
development
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 standards can help to control construction, because their aim is the right exploitation of resources. If every country implements sustainability policies, its
overall
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 progress and environmental condition will increase.
For example
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, in 2015, Kazakhstan’s authorities signed documents on their
development
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 strategies, where the main aspect of
this
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 document was focusing on sustainable
development
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 to ensure
nature’s
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the
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 safety.
Therefore
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, new innovations and improvements help us to achieve harmony between human needs and environmental protection.
On the other hand
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, it is tough to maintain a balance between nature and humans
,
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 when an area is overpopulated. If
one
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 area is overloaded with people, it would be very hard to keep
this
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 balance. In
this
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 case, the country administration should integrate new rules or regulations to control population size.
For instance
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, in 1980, China confirmed law changes, in which
one
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 family is allowed to have only
one
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 child
,
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;
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 despite that it brought some problems in demography, it helped to reduce carbon emissions and pollution.
Thus
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, it is very hard to find ways in which a balance can be achieved. In conclusion, today's government's main problem of providing enough housing to the nation,
while
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 keeping nature in mind, could be solved through implementing sustainable
development
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 programs and using more innovations
,
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;
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however
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, controlling population size plays a pivotal role

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coherence
Keep one main idea per paragraph and make every sentence make that idea clearer.
coherence
Link ideas with clear sign words and refer back to your main point.
task
Give more facts or details to back ideas and show why they matter.
language
Use short, simple sentences to avoid errors and keep meaning clear.
structure
End with a strong restatement of your view and a short closing thought.
structure
The essay has a clear view in the start and a recap in the end.
coherence
There are good links in some parts using on the one hand / on the other hand.
content
Examples are used, which helps to show thought.
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