IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?”

Science is not only a fundamental category or subject or academic subject,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 is
a
Rephrase
also a
show examples
crucial aspect of human life and is what shapes society today. It is said that its main aim is to develop and enhance our lives and wellbeing
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I believe it carries concepts much wider and broader.
This
Linking Words
 essay will introduce other vital goals and how they help our world. One mandatory section in which science, chemistry and physics assist in modifying, is a deepened understanding of living things and their nature.
For example
Linking Words
, an ordinary table is not just a basic tool that benefits our water and school life, but it is filled with atoms and non-molecules and other chemical concepts that give it its shape. Another example could be physics. Sir Isaac Newton’s discovery of gravity from a green apple, if he
did
Verb problem
had
show examples
 not
expand
Wrong verb form
expanded
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, millions of deep equations and mathematical topics would not have been understood or relevant by professionals today. To view from a separate perspective, biology, the study of living organisms and how they live and operate, enhances scientists’ understanding of the human body and how it operates.
This
Linking Words
 not only aided knowledge, but
also
Linking Words
 has saved lives
due to
Linking Words
 the spectacular invention of medicine and the practice of diagnosis, treatment and prevention of diseases.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the great advancements of technology and artificial intelligence are all thanks to the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of our world.
To conclude
Linking Words
, my words may be ending, but the exploration of our earth and its encyclopedic values are yet to be discovered and studied. I firmly think that
acknowledge
Wrong verb form
acknowledging
show examples
 the fact that there are
numerously
Replace the word
numerous
show examples
 diverse topics that science is yet to identify and achieve in a
neverending
Use the right word
never-ending
show examples
 manner.

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task response
Say clearly in the intro how much you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence
Make one main idea per paragraph and start each with a short topic sentence.
coherence
Use simple link words to connect ideas, like and, but, also, however.
task response
Explain each example and tie it back to your main point.
language
Check grammar and word choice; avoid wrong words (for example, not ‘non-molecules’).
language
Use shorter sentences to keep your idea clear.
content
Some good ideas on how science helps life and more.
content
The essay gives examples like medicine and AI to back points.
argument
The writer tries to show science has aims beyond just helping life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
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