IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015.

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015.
The table compares the data about the percentage of children with seven
school
Use synonyms
 issues in two different primary schools in 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both years,
School
Use synonyms
 A had a higher number of pupils with problems.
While
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
 A over time reduced the total amount of problematic students, in
school
Use synonyms
 B ,
this
Linking Words
 index continued to rise. As the chart shows, in 2005, in
school
Use synonyms
 A , the area of the following was the most complicated
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 42%, despite the fact that
school
Use synonyms
 B’s pupils didn’t have problems
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 only 6%. Listening and verbal expressions of ideas had the same number of students and were the second thought area , with just 35%, but youngsters from
school
Use synonyms
 B had fewer complications
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 only 11% and 15% respectively. In 2015, the difference between the two schools was less visible. Concentration and following the lesson were the only two areas with low figures in academy A , with 18%,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
school
Use synonyms
 B,they were reading and handwriting , with 7% and 9% in general. Youngsters from the first academy struggled a lot with handwriting, which is seen by 29%, but for students from another
school
Use synonyms
, it didn’t bring any troubles (7%).

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: