IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950
The diagrams illustrate the changes of
surrounding
Verb problem
apply
show examples
West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary School since 1950.
Overall
Linking Words
, the area
urbanized
Change the spelling
urbanised
show examples
within
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the years;
moreover
Linking Words
, houses and farmland
demolished
Verb problem
were demolished
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 was constructed in 2010.
However
Linking Words
,
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 road and school building
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reamined
Correct your spelling
remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 from 1950 to 2010. As can be seen from the map, in 1950, the area, which was near the main road, was divided
by
Change preposition
into
show examples
 4 parts. Farmland had
converted
Verb problem
been converted
show examples
 into
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 field by 1980. In 2010, it expanded and transformed
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
.
Playground
Correct article usage
The playground
show examples
 had remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 between 1950 and 1980, but it
narrowed
Verb problem
had narrowed
show examples
 by 2010. Houses
demolished
Verb problem
were demolished
show examples
, and
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 and science block were constructed in 1980. In 2010,
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 was expanded
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
while
Linking Words
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
 block
was
Correct word order
apply
show examples
remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, the area of
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
 field
reduced
Correct word order
was reduced
show examples
. Locations of
the both
Correct word order
both the
show examples
 main road and
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 building did not
changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 from 1950 to 2010.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words park, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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