IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 three maps illustrate the changes that happened in the
Use synonyms
west park secondary school
Fix capitalization
West Park Secondary School
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 from its establishment in 1950 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 location of both
Correct article usage
the
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main road and
playground
Correct article usage
the playground
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remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
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 unchanged ,
while
Linking Words
 the houses
converted
Verb problem
have been converted
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to
Change preposition
into
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area
Correct article usage
an area
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 that contains
car
Correct article usage
a car
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 park and
science
Correct article usage
a science
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 block . The building experienced several
transformation
Fix the agreement mistake
transformations
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 from 1950 to 1980 .
the Houses
Use the right word
The houses
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demolished
Verb problem
were demolished
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 and became
area
Correct article usage
an area
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 for
car
Correct article usage
a car
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 park and
science
Correct article usage
a science
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 block ,
while
Linking Words
 the farmland, which can be found in the southern
west
Use synonyms
 ,
removed
Verb problem
was removed
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 and converted to
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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 field in 1980 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the schools and playground remained in the same location .
thirty
Fix capitalization
Thirty
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 years later , the layout has been changed modestly .
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 significant changes
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
 mostly in the western part , with
car
Correct article usage
the car
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bark
Use the right word
park
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
having
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 been constructed in the
west
Use synonyms
 and the science block
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
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 in the same location
,
Punctuation problem
. In
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in contrast
Linking Words
 , both
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 field and
playground
Correct article usage
the playground
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 had been
shrinked
Correct your spelling
shrunk
 which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
br
Correct your spelling
be
 found in the corner , in the
west
Use synonyms
 .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words west with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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