Some people think that it is better for students to work before their university studies. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no denying the fact that every student should complete their academic future.

While

Linking Words

it is commonly held

belife

Correct your spelling

belief

that it is better for them to find a

job

Use synonyms

before

university

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both points of view

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and share my opinion. On the one hand,some

students

Use synonyms

take a gap

year

Use synonyms

to find a

job

Use synonyms

,because they want to save enough money for their future.

Such

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

studying abroad,

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

experience,or maybe they do not have stable money in their home.Another point to consider,some countries do not have highly academic

Use synonyms

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

do not match with some

Use synonyms

students

Check wording

students'

show examples

mind

Correct subject-verb agreement

minds

show examples

For example

Linking Words

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

students

Use synonyms

have highly

standers

Use the right word

standard

show examples

academic

Use synonyms

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

,and life in general,so they have to move to other countries.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,getting

Use synonyms

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

before

university

Use synonyms

might

forgets

Wrong verb form

forget

show examples

student

Check wording

apply

show examples

what they had learn in school,and

move

Verb problem

lose

show examples

their motivation for learning.

In other words

Linking Words

,finding

Use synonyms

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

with only

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

school degree

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is impossible these days,so they will lose one

year

Use synonyms

without doing anything.It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

some teachers make

students

Use synonyms

disappointed by saying to them "you can not go to

university

Use synonyms

with degrees like

this

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

. .in

show examples

Correct your spelling

in addition

Linking Words

,I personally had one of these kinda of teachers,and she got me disappointed all my senior

year

Use synonyms

,and now

Correct your spelling

I'm

having a gap

year

Use synonyms

,and finding a

job

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,there is no easy answer to

this

Linking Words

situation.

However

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

tend to believe that it is good and healthy for the

students

Use synonyms

to take a gap

year

Use synonyms

,and get experience from jobs,

then

Linking Words

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

back to study with

highly

Replace the word

high

show examples

motivation.

joo2007ioo

Oct 24, 2025

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structure

Plan your essay with a clear map: intro with your view, body on each side, and a short conclusion that restates your view.

language

Use simple, short sentences. Check grammar and punctuation so ideas are clear.

content

Give real and simple examples to show your points. Explain why they matter.

structure

Keep one idea in each paragraph and start with a topic sentence.

structure

There is an introduction, two sides, and a conclusion.

coherence

Linking words are used to join ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

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Some people think that it is better for students to work before their university studies. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

oung people are increasingly choosing to eliminate meat from their diets and become vegetarians. Do you think this is a good idea? Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks?

Some today argue that schools are no longer necessary because children can learn so much from the internet and be educated at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit the as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.