IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

write an essay on this topic. Remember, 4 paragraphs, more than 250 words (between 260 and 280 is the best). Good answer with 3 ideas in each body. AND MAXIMUM 45 MINUTES Recently , doctors say that people do not get enough exercise. What are the causes of this trend? What ways can they be solved.

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Introduction
In society, life has changed a great deal , especially in
exercise
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 includes how
people
Use synonyms
 do not get enough
exercise
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 . I believe that getting enough
exercise
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 has many active points . In
this
Linking Words
Use the right word
essay
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assay
Add a comma
assay,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will provide information to support the topic .
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand , in terms of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, there are many harmful problems . First ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media is the main cause .
For
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example
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 ,when
people
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 use their phone without any
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 activities ,
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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became
Wrong verb form
become
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 hard and old . Second , the desk work is the major harmful action .
This
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 will
creat
Use the right word
create
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big
Correct article usage
a big
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 problem .
Finally
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, the mood is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 major
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
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 of
this
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tend
Use the right word
trend
show examples
 that
control
Correct subject-verb agreement
controls
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 the
sport
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time
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 .
For
Linking Words
example
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 , the food mood and the sad mood are the hardest
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example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
.
As a result
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 ,
do
Verb problem
apply
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not
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 enough
exercise
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become
Verb problem
can become
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 toxic .
Body paragraph 2
On the other side , in terms of
solution
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 , there are many major important
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solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.
Moreover
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 ,
Linking Words
According
Fix capitalization
according
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 to Kuwait College Studies ,90% of local
people
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 increase the level of
exercise
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due to
Linking Words
 the health goal .
Firstly
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, the constant
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 goal is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 smart strategy .
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
Add a comma
,
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upper and lower weak
sport
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table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
 are the best actions to get
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right
solution
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 .
Secondly
Linking Words
, picking up the type of
sport
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 benefit
tools
Check wording
apply
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to love what you do .
For
Linking Words
example
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 , dancing is the
beast
Use the right word
best
show examples
sport
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 that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 active and happy .
Finally
Linking Words
 , the type of group is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
Use synonyms
example
Add a comma
example,
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 a positive friend is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more active than a negative friend . They will increase the
time
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 of
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and the happy
time
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 .
Conclusion
In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 has many problems .
However
Linking Words
, there are trendy smart
Use synonyms
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
 , doctors recommend
local
Correct word choice
that local
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 follow the right tips to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
 a positive goal with the best life

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grammar
Fix many spelling mistakes and use simple, clear grammar to explain ideas.
structure
Make the intro stronger by clearly stating the task and what you will cover.
content
Give one clear example for each point and explain how it supports your view.
cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas and move from one point to the next.
content
The essay shows three causes and three solutions.
cohesion
The writer uses clear signposts like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other side'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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