It is argue that some markets should not be allowed to sell any drink or food that has prove to have negative effect on individuals’s health. I firmly agree with this statement because bad food lead to health problems that will not ends.

It is
argue
Wrong verb form
argued
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that some markets should not be allowed to sell any drink or food that has
Verb problem
been prove
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prove
Use the right word
proven
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to have
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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effect on
individuals’s
Check wording
individuals’
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health. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement because bad food
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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to health problems that will not
ends
Correct subject-verb agreement
end
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.
One
Use the right word
On
show examples
the one hand, bad foods lead to health problems. Some foods have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
quantity of sugar, more than 7KG in one glass of drink,
such
Linking Words
as Pepsi.
For instance
Linking Words
, unhealthy food or drink will lead to diseases,
such
Linking Words
as diabetes.
For example
Linking Words
, a report from New York University in 2012, more than 43% of individuals live with diabetes, and some of them die

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Content
You state you agree with the view, which shows a clear stand.
Idea
You begin to use examples.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: