IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that teenagers should focus on all school subjects while others think that they should concentrate on the subjects where they do the best or find the most interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often debated whether students should focus on their
favoruite
Correct your spelling
favourite
 subject or concentrate on all the school
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides and provide
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
 own opinion . On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand , focusing on your passion is required nowadays .
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 not only provides you with
invalauble
Correct your spelling
invaluable
 opportunities ,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
also
Linking Words
 to have
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
 plan
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your future
carrier
Use the right word
career
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
 , my friend who is very
intelligence
Replace the word
intelligent
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
mathmetics
Correct your spelling
mathematics
 won in several competitions organised by
internantional
Correct your spelling
international
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 reason behind
this
Linking Words
 , that he found his passion at school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 once he found it , he
was keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 improving
this
Linking Words
 skill , which eventually
he got
Wrong verb form
led him to get
show examples
 high grades
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 math and
won
Wrong verb form
win
show examples
 several prizes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , concentrating
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all
subjects
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 lead to
magnificant
Correct your spelling
magnificent
 opportunities .
Although
Linking Words
 some may think that putting a high effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 all
subjects
Use synonyms
its
Use the right word
is
show examples
 just effortless ,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 could enhance
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 aspects of your skills and ensure getting high grades in all
subjects
Use synonyms
 .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , students who
distribuite
Correct your spelling
distribute
 their effort on all
subjects
Use synonyms
 equally , they could gain considerable benefits in their educational
carrier
Use the right word
career
show examples
. Take my brother as an example , he
as
Use the right word
has
show examples
 always
seeking
Verb problem
been seeking
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high grades , and one way to do
that is
Linking Words
 to focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all
subjects
Use synonyms
 .
Consequently
Linking Words
 , he has invaluable skills that will help him significantly in the future . In conclusion ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that focusing on one subject is important and significant .
However
Linking Words
 , we
also
Linking Words
 should consider the advantages of studying all
subjects
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
considered
Verb problem
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
safeiest
Correct your spelling
safest
 way to achieve
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 grade . Ideally , we can combine the
tow
Use the right word
two
show examples
 ways to gain the best opportunities in the future .

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structure
Plan your writing with a clear path: intro, two body parts for each view, then a short closing with your view.
grammar
Use short, plain sentences and link ideas with and, but, so.
content
Give simple, clear examples that fit school work and show care for study.
content
Make your view clear at the end in one line.
idea
You talk about both sides and end with your own view.
structure
You use 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' to show two views.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • versatility
  • critical thinking
  • well-rounded education
  • career paths
  • early specialization
  • cross-disciplinary skills
  • exposure to
  • motivation
  • deeper learning
  • expertise development
  • subject specialization
  • academic performance
  • mental health
  • balanced approach
  • core subjects
  • electives
  • passion-driven learning
  • foundational skills
  • individual student strengths
  • flexibility in education
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