It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. Do you agree or disagree?

Learning

history

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is crucial for students, as it is rich with valuable lessons and information about the past, which could be applied in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

our current present to prevent the recurrence of the same political disputes. Some argue that it is more important for schoolchildren to

fouce

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focus

their study on local

history

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rather

Linking Words

then

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than

show examples

world

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history

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. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

argument, because students obtain more valuable lessons from

world

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history

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since it is richer, more complicated and

interconected

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interconnected

Therefore

Linking Words

, it has the

abilty

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ability

widend

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widen

the students’ knowledge, in

additition

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addition

to its ability to

provides

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provide

show examples

the young with

globle awaerness

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global awareness

To begin

Linking Words

with, the

world

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has a past rich with stories from which lessons could be learned and applied in our lives.

Such

Linking Words

as those of ancient

Greek

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Greece

show examples

and Egypt. Currently, scientists are attempting to understand how the

egyptions

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Egyptians

powered

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an enitre

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enitre

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entire

city with the pyramids. If they got around that, the knowledge would transform many

nations

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nations'

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life

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lives

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along with

Linking Words

the economy. As for the

Greek

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Greeks

show examples

, their

archticers

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architectural

bulding

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building

styles are

tought

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taught

in schools now. Clearly, the

history

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ever

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every

show examples

nation in the

world

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can offer something unique.

Moreover

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, if more adolescents became globally aware and informed about the

world

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’s affairs, they would grow up to be a lot more empathetic.

For instance

Linking Words

, a white privilege child learning in school about what

has

Verb problem

apply

show examples

occurred back in the 40s durring

World

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War II, would understand how a few

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apply

show examples

coutries

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coutries'

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actions could affect the lives of normal people

negativly

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negatively

Apperently

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Apparently

learing

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learning

about

world

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history

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does not limit an individual’s ability to relate to an international issue.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

learning local

history

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strengthens one’s

conection

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connection

to her or his

hertiage

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heritage

, learning

world

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history

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does that and even more. It presents the students with many different

prespectivies

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perspectives

, making them excellent

critcal

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critical

thinkers and kinder to all international people.

jiyeonpark78s

Oct 24, 2025

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structure

Plan the essay first. Have one main idea and 2-3 clear points that support it.

structure

Each para needs a clear topic sentence and a link to the main idea.

language

Fix big spell and grammar mistakes so the words are easy to read.

language

Use simple linking words to show how ideas go with each other.

content

Give strong, real examples that fit the claim.

content

The writer shows a clear view on the topic.

content

There is an effort to compare local and world history.

structure

The essay uses sign words like To begin with, Moreover, To conclude.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries the proportion of old people is steadily increasing. some think this is good, while others believe this is a problem for a country. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To want extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to poorer countries experiencing a ‘brain drain’, they are seeing many professionals, such as doctors and teachers, leaving to work in more developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can be suggested to deal with this situation?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or dis agree.