IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

drug abuse has become a serious problem in the society. what are its effects and suggest some solutions.

There is no doubt
to say
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
drug
Use synonyms
 abuse
rife
Verb problem
is rife
show examples
 in many countries millions of dollars are spent annually to stop
people
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
Verb problem
abusing drug
show examples
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
abuse
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Drug
Use synonyms
 intake has become an acute issue in today's generation. I will discuss it causes and solutions in the following paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 there are many causes of it. First and
foremost
Punctuation problem
foremost,
show examples
 it psychological and medical effects are very expensive.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a
person
Use synonyms
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 ill, the treatment for these
people
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 quite
Costlier
Replace the word
costly
show examples
 and medications are expensive.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when a
person
Use synonyms
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 taking drugs, their behaviour
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 changing,
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 behave very differently as compared to
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 by
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they start doing wrong things and
start abusing
Verb problem
using
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with cuss words
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is intolerable in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Additionally
Linking Words
, these
people
Use synonyms
 got distracted from work or study, which is not a good sign for their future,
as well as
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
, these
Punctuation problem
. These
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 become
liability
Correct article usage
a liability
show examples
on on
Change preposition
to
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 everybody, as when they start
intoxicating
Verb problem
using
show examples
 these
drugs
Punctuation problem
drugs,
show examples
 they spend all their time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it and lose their job or
expelled
Verb problem
are expelled
show examples
 from school.
On the contrary
Linking Words
 side, there are many
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should run
campaign
Correct article usage
a campaign
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to educate
people
Use synonyms
 through various ways about
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
affects
Use the right word
effects
show examples
. Apart from that higher authority should get more state and make some new zero
tolerable
Replace the word
tolerance
show examples
 and instructor rules for
drug
Use synonyms
 dealers so they don't even think of selling it on top of it.
Family
Fix the agreement mistake
Families
show examples
 should spend more time
altogether
Use the right word
together
show examples
 so that if any family
of house
Check wording
member
show examples
 is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depression or
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stress, they get some relief
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from it and will not go in the wrong direction
Punctuation problem
. According
show examples
according to
Linking Words
studies
Punctuation problem
studies,
show examples
 it has been seen that spending time with family relieves
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stress and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 one's mood happy.
To conclude
Linking Words
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
single
person
Use synonyms
 cannot solve
this
Linking Words
 problem alone, but if they join
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 with
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be solved, and
this
Linking Words
 issue will not become a big challenge for anybody.

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structure
Plan your essay. Use one idea for each paragraph. Put a clear view in the intro and a short ending in the final part.
language
Use simple but clear words. Check grammar and spellings. Make each sentence have a clear subject and verb.
content
Keep causes in one part and solutions in the next. Do not mix ideas in one sentence.
content
Give small, real examples when you can. If you say many people, give a tiny fact.
coherence
Use linking words well to show flow, like first, also, but, then, therefore.
structure
The essay shows a plan to talk about causes and solutions.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
vocabulary
Some word like 'campaign' and 'awareness' are used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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