IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities, people rely on public transportation such as buses, trains, and subways for their daily commute and travel needs. What are the main benefits of using public transportation instead of private vehicles like cars or motorcycles?

Some may say there is no
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
show examples
to take
Change preposition
in taking
show examples
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
 or train
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 you can afford a private
car
Use synonyms
, especially
the
Correct word choice
since the
show examples
 hygiene and safety of public
transport
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become an issue
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the spotlight recently.
However
Linking Words
, using public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 is not only beneficial to
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 environment. Using public
transport
Use synonyms
 helps
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 reduce personal
expends
Replace the word
expenses
show examples
. As we all know, it is expensive to drive a
car
Use synonyms
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 spending money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 insurance, parking, maintenance, tunnels and
highways
Fix the agreement mistake
highway
show examples
 fees. Especially, gas
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 unstable that easily affected by inflation and fuel
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
show examples
. On the opposite side, using
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
 or subway
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 much cheaper and the
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 are usually predictable and stable under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
supervised
Replace the word
supervision
show examples
. Reduce the
transportation
Use synonyms
 cost.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by using public
transport
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 spend less travel time than private
car
Use synonyms
. During the peak hours, the highway
also
Linking Words
 remains traffic, and you can only stay in the
car
Use synonyms
 and wait boringly.
In contrast
Linking Words
, people taking public
transport
Use synonyms
 helps reduce the number of
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 on the road during peak hours and
lower
Correct subject-verb agreement
lowers
show examples
 the chances of traffic.
Also
Linking Words
, an individual can use their travelling time effectively to relax and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 things they want,
such
Linking Words
 as reading books or
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 with their phone. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, usage of public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to the environment.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
, using private vehicles is harming the
clime
Use the right word
climate
show examples
 consistently. The more citizens relied on private
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, the more carbon dioxide
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 produced.
It’s
Verb problem
It
show examples
 directly deteriorates the issue of air pollution and global warming. On the opposite, public
transportation
Use synonyms
 reduces carbon footprint effectively, which is an easier step an individual can take to create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better and healthier ecosystem to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are a lot of positive effects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 taking public
transport
Use synonyms
. It should be promoted to the public and encourage them to decrease the demand for private
transportation
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan the essay with a clear path: a short intro, 2 or 3 body paragraphs, then a quick end.
coherence
Use links to connect ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'for example', to help flow.
grammar
Fix grammar errors and keep phrases simple. For example, 'public transport' not 'public transportations'; 'On the other hand' not 'On the other hands'.
content
Give strong and plain facts or examples to back up points, not only ideas.
vocabulary
Choose common words and plain form. Avoid hard or long words.
content
The essay shows the idea that public transport is good for cost, time, and the earth.
structure
Some lines give a simple idea well and stay on topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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