IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts provided offer a comparative insight into the proportion of fuel sources that
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and France in 1980 and 2000. Looking from the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the
electricity
Use synonyms
manufacture
Check wording
generation
show examples
 significantly increased from 1980 to 2000 in both
Australia
Use synonyms
 and France. 4 types of
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
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 are used in producing
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
, including coal, hydro
power
Use synonyms
, natural gas and oil.
In contrast
Linking Words
, France’s
electricity
Use synonyms
 production
Punctuation problem
, beside
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beside on
Change preposition
besides
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 using the mentioned fuel,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
Linking Words
applicate
Verb problem
applies
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 nuclear
power
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, in 2000, two countries respectively relied on one energy resource. In
Australia
Use synonyms
, coal shows the domination in
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in both years. In 1980, Coal accounted for half of the amount. Coal increased its dominance that
took
Wrong verb form
taking
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 up almost
three
Use the right word
three-quarters
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quarters
Punctuation problem
quarters,
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 whilst all other energies lost
manufacture
Check wording
market
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 share. In France, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
only
Rephrase
apply
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comprised
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
less than a quarter in 1980,
while
Linking Words
 the country mostly preferred using coal and natural gas for
power
Use synonyms
 generation.
However
Linking Words
, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 replaces coal and natural gas as the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
proportion
Punctuation problem
proportion,
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 that nearly took up three quarter of the
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, power with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • units of electricity production
  • fuel source
  • dominant source
  • reliance on coal
  • hydroelectric power
  • natural gas
  • significant reduction
  • primary source
  • drastically increased
  • transition
  • existing infrastructure
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