IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high schools and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In several countries, there has been a trend to take a gap year after finishing high school and before starting university. During
this
Linking Words
 time, they often choose to work or travel.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 flow has some advantages, it
also
Linking Words
 has some drawbacks that need to be considered. On the positive side, taking a year off helps youngsters to explore the world in a better way. By working, they will gain real-life skills
such
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 as
time-management
Use the right word
time management
show examples
, responsibility, and financial independence
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 which are essential for academic and professional success.
Similarly
Linking Words
, exploring new countries allows them to identify new cultures, people from different backgrounds, and broaden their views.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who travel abroad more often return more mature and confident, which
assist
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 them adapt more easily to university life later on.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some disadvantages to
this
Linking Words
 approach.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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time off from college can be expensive, who
decides
Correct subject-verb agreement
decide
show examples
 to travel abroad. Not all families can afford the expenses of flights, accommodation, and other costs.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 may lose their academic motivation after a long break
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and find it difficult to return to their daily study routines. In certain cases, pupils are more interested in earning money and
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
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 not to pursue
further
Linking Words
 higher education at all. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 taking a gap can help
students
Use synonyms
 develop professionally and personally, it comes with
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
 of financial and academic risks. So young
students
Use synonyms
 should plan carefully
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and use it wisely, ensuring it becomes a valuable experience rather than a wasted opportunity.

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task response
Your answer shows both sides and ends with a clear call. To raise score, make a strong main idea for your view and keep all parts tied to it.
task response
Plan before you write. Use four short parts: intro, two body paras, and a conclusion. Say your view in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
task response
Some ideas are not fully clear. Give a clear example for each point and avoid vague talk.
coherence cohesion
Link words are used, but flow could be better. Use simple sign words like First, Also, However, For example, In addition, Therefore.
coherence cohesion
Each para should hold one main idea. Start with a topic sentence that shows the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Watch grammar. Some forms are wrong or words do not fit. Use plain and common grammar and words.
task response
Shows both sides of the topic.
task response
Conclusion gives a clear end and advice.
coherence cohesion
Some good points on the skills from work.
coherence cohesion
Some good flow between ideas in the text.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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