IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workplace. To what extenr do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary world, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of people
are
Verb problem
apply
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have different ailments that need
Verb problem
to be cure
show examples
cure
Replace the word
cured
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 or
medication
Replace the word
medicated
show examples
. Some argue whether on whether to use preventive methods or
research
Use synonyms
. The essay below strongly
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the view that taking
preventing
Replace the word
preventive
show examples
 measures is better than researching and treating those
diseases
Punctuation problem
diseases,
show examples
 as it might be too expensive.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
dispite
Correct your spelling
despite
 the fact that
research
Use synonyms
 is costly, new diseases are found after doing it. If researchers stop digging for new
information
Punctuation problem
information,
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then
Linking Words
 humans will die.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2019,
covid 19
Check wording
COVID-19
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 and the injection that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 to reduce its effects
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 found through
researching
Replace the word
research
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.
Linking Words
Otherwise
Add a comma
Otherwise,
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 the virus was going to wipe
a
Change preposition
out a
show examples
lot
Use synonyms
 of people from
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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. Another point to consider is that new ways of living are evolving,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 includes the food we eat
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 at times carries a
lot
Use synonyms
 of things that affect some individuals' health. Finding information about
such
Linking Words
 can actually help in fighting and preventing the spread of some illnesses.
For instance
Linking Words
, some studies found that consuming too much oily food can affect the function of the gallbladder. All
this
Linking Words
 was found by scholars.
Therefore
Linking Words
, today's world can not thrive without
research
Use synonyms
 because a
lot
Use synonyms
 of important data has been discovered
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps to treat some diseases. In conclusion, the essay above fully
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
show examples
 with the idea that preventive measures are better than doing
research
Use synonyms
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to find
treatment
Correct article usage
a treatment
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 certain
sickness
Fix the agreement mistake
sicknesses
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. Through scholars, new methods and medications have been created,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is an advantage to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society at large.

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grammar
Fix many spelling and grammar errors. Pay attention to 'despite', 'have', 'COVID-19' and 'vaccine' so your sentence is clear.
structure
Make one idea in each paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence for each paragraph.
content
Give strong and clear examples that are true and easy to see. Do not use facts that are not right.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas go together, like 'also', 'however', 'but'.
task
End with a short summary that repeats your view.
content
The essay shows a clear view on the topic.
cohesion
Some linking phrases are used to move ideas.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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