IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart
indicates on
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 how many people join in different activities at one social centre in Melbourne and Australia
over
Punctuation problem
, over
show examples
 a 20-year
period
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the film club has the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the amateur the lowest. All of martial arts, table tennis and musical performances show significant changes in the whole
period
Use synonyms
. During the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2010, the
number
Use synonyms
 of persons who took part in
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club
slight go
Replace the word
slightly went
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 down by 4
units
Use synonyms
, before
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 climb from 60 to 70
units
Use synonyms
 between 2010 and 2020.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, the amateur
was
Verb problem
increased
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gradual
Replace the word
gradually
show examples
increase
Check wording
apply
show examples
by 4
units
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2005. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 bottomed out from 30 to under 10
units
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 15 years. The numbers of
participants
Use synonyms
 for Martial arts fluctuate between 30 and 40
units
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2020. Meanwhile, there was moderate growth in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 for table tennis between 2000 and 2015 before
hit
Wrong verb form
hitting
show examples
 a
speak
Use the right word
peak
show examples
 at 60 in 2020. The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 for musical performances
kept
Verb problem
remained
show examples
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanged
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2005. Between 2005 and 2020, there was
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 rise
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 20
units
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, number, participants, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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