some people think that health care is the responsibility of the government. Other people believe that health care is not the governments responsibility, but each individual person is responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Health
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care
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plays a vital role in
this
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society. In fact, there are some individuals who think that
health
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care
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is the
government
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’s
responsibility
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.
While
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others believe that
people
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have to take
care
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of their
health
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. In my opinion, I partially agree with both views. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both ideas and present my opinion. On the one hand, there are many
people
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who believe that
health
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care
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is the
government
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’s
responsibility
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.
For example
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, the
government
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should increase the number of hospitals in the country.
As a result
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, hospitals will be in each area of the country.
This
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will be very easy for
people
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, especially the elderly.
Also
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, the
government
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should provide free medicine.
Moreover
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, governments should put healthy food in school cafeterias.
Also
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, they have to employ nurses at schools. Nurses are essential professionals in the schools.
Finally
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, the
government
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could
also
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employ dentists for everybody, especially children.
Thus
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, all these points are the
government
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’s
responsibility
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.
On the other hand
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, there are others
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
believe
people
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should take
care
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of their own
health
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.
For example
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,
people
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who don’t eat properly
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
don’t deserve the
government
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's offers.
For example
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,
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
eat junk food and sugar are at risk.
Also
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, smoking is incredibly dangerous to
health
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. Some
people
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enjoy smoking , which is a bad habit. The
government
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shouldn’t give smokers medical services. Correctly, they have to avoid smoking themselves. A recent study showed 45 per cent of those who don’t take
care
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of themselves are children. That means parents should focus on their children. In conclusion, it is clear to see that in my opinion I strongly agree with these two opinions. I completely agree that the
government
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should take
care
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of its citizens.
However
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, I
also
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believe that
t
Check wording
apply
show examples
people
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have a
responsibility
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to live a healthy lifestyle.

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coherence
Make your view clear at once and keep it steady. Do not shift main idea in the end.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit together.
content
Give stronger and more simple examples that exactly fit the view you talk about.
grammar
Check small grammar and spelling to be easy to read.
structure
There is a plan with intro, two body parts and a conclusion.
content
The writer gives both sides and a view.
content
Opinion is stated.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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