IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph shows the export of thousand of cars in Uzbekistan between 2014 and 2019.

The graph shows the export of thousand of cars in Uzbekistan between 2014 and 2019.
The graph illustrates the export of cars in Uzbekistan from 2014 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was noticeable
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 number of exports
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
 car brands grew with some fluctuations over the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2014, foreign
sales
Use synonyms
 of
brand
Use synonyms
 A accounted for 200
units
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in 2015
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 dropped 25 per cent.
Although
Linking Words
 the number of
sales
Use synonyms
 became 275
units
Use synonyms
 in 2016, it continued to decrease by 175
units
Use synonyms
 sold in 2017.
However
Linking Words
, approximately 300 cars
sold
Verb problem
were sold
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Brand
Use synonyms
 B
sales
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 higher than
Brand
Use synonyms
 A in the initial year
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 225
units
Use synonyms
 sold, and it increased slightly to 250
units
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Although
Linking Words
 the
sales
Use synonyms
 decreased by 200
units
Use synonyms
 in 2016,
brand
Use synonyms
 B regained a high amount of customers in 2017 with 275 cars sold.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period,
Brand
Use synonyms
 B achieved 325
units
Use synonyms
 of foreign
sales
Use synonyms
, higher than
Brand
Use synonyms
 A
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
with
Use the right word
which
show examples
300
Correct word order
sold 300 units
show examples
units
Use synonyms
 sold.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, at the end".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, brand, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: