IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Surgary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Recently, many processed food and drinks contains high level of
sugar
Use synonyms
 and
will
Verb problem
can
show examples
cases
Use the right word
cause
show examples
 many health problems for individuals.
Due to
Linking Words
 these situations, many governments should develop regulations to encourage their
people
Use synonyms
 to live with
healthty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 lifestyles and
put
Verb problem
impose
show examples
 extra taxes
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sugary
products
Use synonyms
 to mitigate
undiserable
Correct your spelling
undesirable
 moments in the future. I agree
authorities
Correct word choice
that authorities
show examples
 should cover individuals
life's
Check wording
' lives
show examples
 and
restricts
Correct subject-verb agreement
restrict
show examples
 sugary
products
Use synonyms
 immediately. First of all, high amounts of
sugar
Use synonyms
 can lead
several
Change preposition
to several
show examples
 damages for many
people
Use synonyms
 because it will increase the blood
sugars
Fix the agreement mistake
sugar
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 decrease both
kidney's
Check wording
kidneys'
show examples
 function.
For example
Linking Words
, high consumption of
sugar
Use synonyms
 with more than 20
miligrams
Correct your spelling
milligrams
 daily will increase the possibility of diabetes and in some
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
 countries
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, more than 25 per cent of their populations
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 diabetes.
In addition
Linking Words
, sugary
products
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 lead to psychological
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
. Sugar
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 excessiveness will create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uncontrolable
Correct your spelling
uncontrollable
 hormones and create headaches and
migrains
Correct your spelling
migraines
. From these reasons, the government will spend a special fund to
recovering
Wrong verb form
recover
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 health problems and these acts will require
immense
Correct article usage
an immense
show examples
amound
Correct your spelling
amount
 of money. The government should take a special movement for these situations.
Firstly
Linking Words
, direct movement is to encourage their
people
Use synonyms
 to
increase
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 their
lifestyle's
Check wording
lifestyles
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, more national funds to promote healthy meals
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as vegetables
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 markets.
Secodly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, indirect movement to
limitate
Use the right word
limit
show examples
 sugary
products
Use synonyms
 in the market with higher taxes. In conclusion,
suragy
Correct your spelling
sugary
products
Use synonyms
 could harm many
individuals
Punctuation problem
individuals,
show examples
although
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
tastefull
Correct your spelling
taste
.
Correct word choice
good.
show examples
 The government should protect their
people
Use synonyms
 from
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
menace
Replace the word
menacing
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 and encourage them to build a better lifestyle.

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structure
Plan a clear start and end. Write one main idea per paragraph and keep the idea on a point.
task
State your view clearly in the first or last part and support it with two or three ideas.
language
Use simple, clean words. Fix spelling and grammar.
coherence
Link ideas with simple cue words like first, also, next, but, therefore.
content
Give a fact or example to back up a point, even simple numbers or facts.
content
The idea that sugar can harm health is clear to the reader.
structure
You show a view that the government should act.
language
You use some good phrases like 'tax' and 'limit'.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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