The chart below shows the percentages of people in a city ij the UK using the internet for different countries in 2007 and 2009.

The chart below shows the percentages of people in a city ij the UK using the internet for different countries in 2007 and 2009.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The chart below shows the percentages of people in a city ij the UK using the internet for different countries in 2007 and 2009.
The bar chart shows the proportion of individuals in the UK who use the
internet
Use synonyms
for a variety of activities between 2007 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, all types of activities experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
the individuals who accessed the
internet
Use synonyms
for shopping, job seeking , and TV rose in 2009, others decreased. In 2007, shopping held the highest point among others at around 50%,
while
Linking Words
the percentage of people who use the
internet
Use synonyms
for games and learning was absolutely similar at 20%.
However
Linking Words
, TV
internet
Use synonyms
users were only approximately 15% , which is twice as low as banking and music proportions, respectively. Regarding 2009 , the percentage of shopping still dominated and even increased to about 5%.
However
Linking Words
, people use the
internet
Use synonyms
for job seeking , and music was the same percentage at about 30%. Notably, users of the
internet
Use synonyms
for games are still stable across all time periods at 20% , respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words internet with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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