IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recently, many families have decided that either they would not fly by air within a year or would prefer to fly alone. Definitely,
i
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I
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 consider that because of
this
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 development, advantages dominate the disadvantages. As less fuel will be used,
and
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apply
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fewer hazardous wastes will be released into the
atmosphere
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. Without any doubt, the main advantage of
this
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 decision is
it
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that it
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 will act as an aid in the purity of the
atmosphere
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. If fewer people fly, the number of flights will decrease. So, less fuel will be used by aeroplanes,
Linking Words
as
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and as
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 a result, greenhouse gas emissions will decline.Greenhouse gas emissions contain highly toxic hazardous waste that not only pollutes the clean air but
also
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 affects human
health
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.To exemplify the point, during the wintertime, toxic waste like methane, carbon dioxide, and nitrous oxide mix with the wind drops and produce a yellowish colour mist called smog in the
atmosphere
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, which later affects the
health
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 of animals and humans. The second reason is,
this
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devolpment
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development
 will reduce the
noise
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pollution
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 in the
atmosphere
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. During a plane take-off and landing, it creates
a
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apply
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noise
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pollution
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 for the staff and communities near an airport. The reduction in
noise
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pollution
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 can lead to stress-related
health
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 issues(like sleep disturbance).To exemplify above mentioned reason,
Fislabad
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Faisalabad
airport
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airport,
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 located near
the
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apply
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residential areas and communities and produces so much
noise
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pollution
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 daily, which causes hypertension and frustration in citizens. To pen down all the reasons mentioned above, I would conclude that
health
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 is more important than anything in the world , and
clear
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a clear
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, clean, unpolluted breeze plays a key role in the matter. Simply, the advantages made by the above development dominate its disadvantages.

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structure
Make a clear view in the opening and keep it in body and end.
content
Add both sides: the good and the bad of less flying.
style
Use simple link words to join ideas: also, but, then, so.
content
Give real and small examples like air noise and smog.
language
Check spelling and grammar; use common words.
structure
Make body paragraphs by one idea each.
content
The idea that less flight can cut emissions is clear.
content
You use examples (smog and noise) to back points.
language
Your conclusion says health and clean air matter.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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