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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows population figures for four countries for 2003 and projected figure for 2025 and 2050.

The table below shows population figures for four countries for 2003 and projected figure for 2025 and 2050.
The table illustrates the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in the four countries, which are Argentina, Indonesia, Italy and
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of Korea,
among
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
years
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 , 2025 and 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, Indonesia has the most significant increase among the four countries
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
Argentinal
Correct your spelling
Argentina
also
Linking Words
 has
continuosoly
Correct your spelling
continuously
ehhance
Correct your spelling
increased
 in the number of
people
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Italy shows
decrease
Replace the word
a decreasing
show examples
 trend in the
population
Use synonyms
. First of all, Indonesia's
population
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grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 36
million
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 from 238
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in 2003 to 274
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in 2025, and the
population
Use synonyms
keeps
Verb problem
continues
show examples
on expanding
Change preposition
to expand
show examples
 to the number of 38
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
following
Correct word choice
next
show examples
 25
years
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is
continuous
Correct article usage
a continuous
show examples
rising
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 of 14
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in Argentina from 2003 to 2025 and
also
Linking Words
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the same amount of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 in the next 25
years
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for the Republic of Korea, the number of citizens
also
Linking Words
 rises up in slow trend, which accounted for 4
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens
rising
Punctuation problem
, rising
show examples
up
Rephrase
apply
show examples
from 48
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in 2003 to 52
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in 2025. In the following 25
years
Use synonyms
, it shows unchanged in the
population
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
population
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 in Italy
decline
Wrong verb form
has declined
show examples
countinuously
Correct your spelling
continuously
, which are 6
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 from 2003 to 2025 and followed by 2
milion
Correct your spelling
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from 2025 to 2050. In conclusion, the table points out the problem of
dropping
Wrong verb form
the drop
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
 and it may
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to some negative consequences in the manpower of the countries.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, furthermore".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, years, people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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