IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? (nv)

There is no denying the fact that the social
medic
Use the right word
media
show examples
 applications play a vital role in improving many sectors in the nation.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that these digital programs have many pros to keep
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
 with others, there is an argument that opposes it. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, both pros and cons will be discussed,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by my own opinion. On one hand,
this
Linking Words
 type of communication has gained popularity among the community members, because it holds
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great
important
Replace the word
importance
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 to increase social bonds.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it achieved many beneficial effects for the populations' relationships.
Moreover
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, it plays a crucial role in progressing individuals' education, increasing the quality of life and upgrading living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large part of
persons
Check wording
people
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 believe that the regimes should support and encourage the public to use these platforms.
For example
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,
statistics
Replace the word
statistical
show examples
 results in the USA reveal that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 society
who is embracing
Wrong verb form
that embraces
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 these channels has a direct
connecting
Replace the word
connection
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 with
outside
Correct article usage
the outside
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 world,
marinating
Verb problem
maintaining
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their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 relations with others and has a higher level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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culture.
On the other hand
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, another part of the
persons
Check wording
people
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considers
Correct subject-verb agreement
consider
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 that
this
Linking Words
 type of technology has many drawbacks and
threating
Correct your spelling
threatens
 the community's values and
wasting
Wrong verb form
wastes
show examples
 their time.
In addition
Linking Words
, they suggest that the higher authorities should exclude some of these applications,
due to
Linking Words
 impolite news, videos and stories, which
spread
Verb problem
are spread
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 by unknown users.
For instance
Linking Words
, many countries implement
a
Correct article usage
apply
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strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
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 and
take
Verb problem
impose
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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hard
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 against violators on these stages. In conclusion, I tend to believe that social media is equally important for people to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other appropriately.

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coherence
Use clearer topic sentences in each paragraph and link ideas with simple words.
grammar
Check grammar: fix subject-verb and plural forms.
lexis
Choose the right words and spell common terms correctly, like social media, connect, and culture.
task
Give more specific examples or data to back each point.
structure
End with a clear view and a short, strong conclusion that repeats your stance.
structure
The essay has an introduction that tells what will be discussed and a conclusion that gives your view.
content
There is an attempt to discuss both sides of the issue.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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