IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is causing damage to the environment and should be stopped now.

The effect of economic
growth
Use synonyms
 has been debated over the
last
Linking Words
 few decades. Many
people
Use synonyms
 argued that the only way to terminate famine and make
people
Use synonyms
 wealthier is economic
growth
Use synonyms
,
where
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 others believed that economic
climb
Check wording
growth
show examples
 can cause
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and should be ended immediately. It is undeniable that economic development can damage the environment.
For example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the industrial
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industrial revolution
Fix capitalization
Industrial Revolution
show examples
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
caused
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
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 around major European cities
got
Verb problem
to become
show examples
 polluted. Economic
growth
Use synonyms
 comes with thriving energy consumption, which means
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
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 amount
fossil
Change preposition
of fossil
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 fuel needs to be used.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to
rising
Correct article usage
a rising
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 amount of carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 can cause irreversible damage to
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the harmful waste product created by industries can be released into water bodies
such
Linking Words
 as oceans and lakes, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 water to be polluted and even
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of
waterbourne
Correct your spelling
waterborne
 life.
However
Linking Words
, without economic
growth
Use synonyms
, poverty and famine cannot be eliminated. Without economic development, no jobs can be created and
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to a high unemployment rate. Economic
growth
Use synonyms
 not only
introduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
introduces
show examples
 more jobs, it
also
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 more cheap products
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
 for
people
Use synonyms
, so
people
Use synonyms
 can afford food and hunger can be avoided. In my opinion, stopping economic development because of pollution can result in many troubles.
First,
Linking Words
no economic
growth
Use synonyms
 can reduce
people
Use synonyms
's quality of life significantly.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are many things that can be done to ensure damage
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 is
minimized
Change the spelling
minimised
show examples
.
Such
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 as using renewable energy and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
 sustainable economic
developement
Correct your spelling
development
. I agree with the point that economic
growth
Use synonyms
 is the only solution for hunger and poverty, as the are no other possible things that can be done with the identical effect. In conclusion, economic
growth
Use synonyms
 can effectively reduce famine and poverty
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the environmental impact caused by
econominc
Correct your spelling
economic
developed
Replace the word
development
show examples
 can be avoided.

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task response
Task response: You discuss both sides and give your own view, but your main idea is not very clear in the opening. Make your main claim clear in the intro and stay with it in all paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The idea flow is not very smooth. Use linking words and a clear plan. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that links to your main point.
lexical resource
Lexical use: Many word choices are wrong or odd. Use simple, easy words you know well. Check spellings and use common words for key ideas like environment, growth, and poverty.
grammar
Grammar: There are many grammar errors that block meaning. Use short and clear sentences. Check verb form and punctuation. Read aloud to catch mistakes.
content
You state both sides of the issue.
content
You give an example of pollution and a link to growth.
process
You show some effort to take a clear view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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