Nowadays,shopping has become an unavoidable activity among youngsterswhich has suppressed many essential exercises needed for individuals. Do the merits of the given trend outweighs the demerits?

Of late, shopping has grown

progresssively

Correct your spelling

progressively

as an integral element in the life of the younger generation, for which they are even willing to compromise their health. Considering the deleterious effects of consumerism, I strongly believe that the negative impacts of

this

Linking Words

lifestyle

Use synonyms

require genuine attention.

Firstly

Linking Words

, consumer

culture

Use synonyms

has been blooming among the youth.

As a result

Linking Words

, the holidays and vacations have been replaced

from

Change preposition

show examples

adventurous or serene locations to regions which offer a varied space for shopping.

Hence

Linking Words

, the level of activity has decreased drastically.

For example

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young adults

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

today

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

prefer to travel to Dubai because of the wide variety of options they get to purchase from.

Additionally

Linking Words

along with

Linking Words

the shopping

culture

Use synonyms

dining

Correct article usage

the dining

show examples

out

culture

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

flourishes. Very often, youngsters plan shopping combined with a meal from outside, which is usually a junk meal.

This

Linking Words

would ultimately result in an unhealthy dietary

lifestyle

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

which

Punctuation problem

which,

show examples

when

coupled with

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

exercise

Punctuation problem

exercise,

show examples

can have

Correct article usage

a deterimental

show examples

deterimental

Correct your spelling

detrimental

effect on life that leads to

lifestyle

Use synonyms

diseases

such

Linking Words

as obesity or diabetes.

For instance

Linking Words

, young individuals prefer to go to commercial malls which provide many shops under the same roof. These malls are functioning with a food court which serves delicious foods of different brands for reasonable

prices

Punctuation problem

prices,

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

attracts the youth to a great deal. In conclusion, considering both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views, it can be justified that consumerism among the youngsters can affect their

lifestyle

Use synonyms

adversely. When lack of physical activity is added to it, it may

further

Linking Words

complicate the

overall

Linking Words

well-being of an individual.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is paramount to balance both the shopping

culture

Use synonyms

and

incorporation

Correct article usage

the incorporation

show examples

of a healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

norsilariya

Oct 28, 2025

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balance

Add a clear look at the good side of shopping for young people and then compare with the bad side.

content

Use more facts or data to show how many people are affected by lack of exercise.

style

Make many sentences shorter. Use simple words and short lines.

language

Check spelling and small grammar mistakes (for example 'progresssively' and 'deterimental' should be 'progressively' and 'detrimental').

strength

The write shows a clear choice and a firm view against the trend.

strength

The essay uses some good examples to back its point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Nowadays,shopping has become an unavoidable activity among youngsterswhich has suppressed many essential exercises needed for individuals. Do the merits of the given trend outweighs the demerits?

In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth over all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. 7.5/9.0

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society ?

Gender equality has not been achieved in our society. Women still do not have the same rights and opportunities as men. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event Give them the details of the event.