Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe skills and experience are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, a considerable debate has arisen over whether obtaining a
university
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degree
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is the most effective route to career success
,
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apply
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or whether acquiring practical
skills
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plays a more vital role in creating employment opportunities. Advocates of the first view argue that
Correct article usage
a bachelor
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bachelor
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bachelor's
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degree
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provides theoretical knowledge and is essential for
specialized
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specialised
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professions,
while
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opponents claim that practical
skills
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play a crucial role in launching one's own business, thereby creating a substantial income.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint. On the one hand, obtaining a bachelor’s
degree
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equips students with essential theoretical knowledge. By studying academic disciplines
such
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as medicine or engineering, students are able to deepen their understanding of complex concepts, which enables them to make informed decisions and avoid serious errors in their professional practice.
According to
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a recent study conducted in Kazakhstan,
university
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graduates are more likely to secure well-paid positions in sectors that require higher
education
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qualifications.
Moreover
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,
university
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education
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develops students’ critical thinking, research, and analytical
skills
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, which are vital for solving complex problems in the modern workplace. Through engaging in research projects and academic discussions, learners learn to evaluate information objectively and approach challenges from multiple perspectives, making them more competent and innovative professionals.
On the other hand
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, practical
skills
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enable individuals to establish their own businesses and achieve financial independence.
This
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is because possessing hands-on abilities,
such
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as metal casting or carpentry, is highly valued in the labour market, allowing people to offer specialised services and generate a steady income.
Moreover
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,
such
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skills
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are often cheaper and faster to acquire through vocational courses or internships, making them an accessible option for those who cannot afford higher
education
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.
As a result
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, practical experience can serve as a foundation for entrepreneurship and long-term economic success. In conclusion,
while
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a
university
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degree
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provides theoretical knowledge and fosters essential cognitive
skills
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that are indispensable for professional fields, practical abilities offer individuals the flexibility to establish their own enterprises and achieve financial stability. In my view,
although
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both paths can lead to career success, obtaining a higher
education
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qualification remains slightly more advantageous, as it not only enhances employment prospects but
also
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cultivates intellectual growth and lifelong learning.

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improvement
Grow ideas more. Add more proof or data for each point.
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Use short topic sentences for each paragraph.
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Tie every example to the point you make.
fix
Check small grammar like 'bachelor degree' which should be 'a bachelor’s degree'.
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Keep a clear line of view from start to end.
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Use more real life or study facts to show the point.
strength
Clear view is given in the end, and the text is easy to follow.
structure
Good use of linking words like On the one hand, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • competitive advantage
  • in-depth knowledge
  • theoretical understanding
  • networking opportunities
  • prerequisite
  • professions
  • practical, hands-on knowledge
  • perform tasks efficiently and effectively
  • actual ability
  • deliver results
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • real-world settings
  • blend of both education and practical experience
  • theoretical concepts
  • ideal scenario
  • bolstered by practical application
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