IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The plans below shows the site of mining town in the past and after redevelopment in the present day.

The
map
Use synonyms
 illustrates the
part
Use synonyms
 of
mining
Correct article usage
the mining
show examples
 town in the past and after renovation present day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
site
Use synonyms
 was originally used for mining and industrial purposes
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, after
reconstruction
Add a comma
reconstruction,
show examples
 the new facilities
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 added for visitors ,
such
Linking Words
 as
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 , children’s playground and others. In the first
map
Use synonyms
 , the
site
Use synonyms
 was primarily designed for mining activities and workers.
For example
Linking Words
 , in the eastern
part
Use synonyms
 of it was
specialized
Change the spelling
specialised
show examples
 for waste
pit
Fix the agreement mistake
pits
show examples
 one and two. Coming into
western
Correct article usage
the western
show examples
site
Use synonyms
 of it,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the left corner was located office and next to it was
mine
Correct article usage
the mine
show examples
 for workers. In the central
part
Use synonyms
 of the
map
Use synonyms
 was located
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
room
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 on the left
Use synonyms
site
Use the right word
side
show examples
 of it was
staff’s
Correct article usage
the staff’s
show examples
 changing
room
Use synonyms
. Turning into the right corner, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
located
Verb problem
apply
show examples
parking lots and next to it was
lorry
Correct article usage
a lorry
show examples
 park.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the second
map
Use synonyms
 shows the state of
mining
Correct article usage
a mining
show examples
 town in the current period. As it shows, it mainly transformed into
entertainment
Correct article usage
an entertainment
show examples
 place for visitors by adding new facilities ,
such
Linking Words
 as
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
show examples
 truck track, picnic area
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 children’s
are
Use the right word
area
show examples
 on the east
part
Use synonyms
 . In the middle of the
map
Use synonyms
 is located
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 , between
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 entrance for visitors and
footpath
Correct article usage
the footpath
show examples
. Regarding the western side of
Use synonyms
map
Correct article usage
the map
show examples
,
parking
Correct article usage
the parking
show examples
 lot
is remained
Wrong verb form
remains
show examples
 unchanged,
while
Linking Words
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 and
staff’s
Correct article usage
the staff’s
show examples
 changing
room
Use synonyms
replaced
Verb problem
have been replaced
show examples
into
Change preposition
by
show examples
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

organization
Plan your answer in this order: intro, map 1, map 2, end. Give one main idea in each part.
grammar
Use simple past and present tense for the old and new map. Check the verb form.
vocabulary
Be clear when you talk about places. Name parts as left, right, middle, etc.
cohesion
Link sentences with words like first, next, then, also, but, however.
grammar
Use one idea per sentence and avoid long long sentences.
spelling
Check spelling of common words and city names.
content
You show the idea of past and now.
content
You name many parts of the map.
coherence
You make a clear contrast between old and new.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: