IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

people now have freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. do the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

The study points to a small loop in the central amygdala that anchors these drugs in cutting appetite and weight. As the authors note,” mice given GLP-140 or the mix with GIPFA-085 showed a quick drop in food intake,” and NtsCeA cells sit at the centre of that shared effect. At the same time, when both treatments bring about the same drop in weight, it points to another route within the CeA that moves in to offset their signal. The authors
also
Linking Words
 add that “NtsCeA neurons may include GABA cells’ projections to the PSTN,” a circuit that helps calm feeding.

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task response
This piece lacks a clear task or main view. Start with a clear aim, then give two or three simple ideas to support it.
coherence cohesion
Make the flow smooth with clear links. Use simple bridges like first, next, then, also, finally. Keep one idea per sentence and use the same word for the same thing.
coherence cohesion
Be steady in the name of parts like the study or the authors. Do not shift to many names. If you use quotes, say what they mean in your own words.
coherence cohesion
Explain the quotes in your own words and give a short result from what the study shows. This helps the reader see what the facts mean.
strength
It shows a study and uses facts from it.
strength
It uses real checks and data from the study.
strength
It points to how the brain parts may work to calm feeding.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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