In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

In recent years, the proportion of the elderly has stably increased, and many
people
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argue about whether it is beneficial or detrimental.
While
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there are significantly positive
effects
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to
this
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trend, there are
also
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some notable outcomes on
the
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apply
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society.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before reaching the conclusion. One significantly positive effect of the increasing elderly
is
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population is
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that
they
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it
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can make
the
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apply
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society more harmonious. As they handled lots of jobs, communicating with plenty of
people
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, they know how to deal with
people
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who argue with each other.
This
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demonstrates how the elderly work on,
such
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as enhancing communication.
Moreover
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,
this
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trend allows young
people
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to learn from themselves.
This
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leads to a kind atmosphere, making it an important factor in society.
However
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, there are
also
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some negative
effects
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associated with
this
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phenomenon. One significant drawback is the economy.
For example
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, if there are more and more old
people
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around the world,
this
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shows that no workers will support the economy in their countries.
Furthermore
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, a downturn may lead to poor conditions in the country,
such
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as crime or mess.
While
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the positive
effects
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are considerable, the potential negative
effects
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should not be overlooked.
Therefore
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, it is important to consider both the pros and cons of the increasing elderly population before making any decisions. In conclusion, the rising population of the elderly has both advantages and disadvantages.
While
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it offers a harmonious atmosphere, it
also
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presents certain challenges,
such
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as messy streets or a poor economy. In my opinion, I think
this
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trend has more negative
effects
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than positive.

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content-development
Use more clear examples to back your points.
grammar
Fix grammar and make the sentences clean and easy to read.
structure
Put one strong main idea in each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
task-response
Keep a neutral view and balance both sides, then state your own view clearly.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go from one point to another.
structure
The essay shows both sides and has an ending.
coherence
There are clear sign words like However and In conclusion.
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