In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

In recent years, many countries have seen a steady rise in the proportion of elderly people.
While
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this
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trend can bring certain benefits to society, it
also
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poses several challenges. I believe that the negative impacts outweigh the positive ones
overall
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. One significant drawback of an
aging
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ageing
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population
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is the heavier economic burden on the working
population
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. As the number of elderly people increases, governments face growing pressure to provide pensions and healthcare services.
This
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can lead to higher public expenditure and financial strain on taxpayers.
Furthermore
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, a shrinking workforce may reduce productivity and slow down economic growth. In the long term,
this
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imbalance could result in higher taxes and fewer resources for education or innovation, which are crucial for a country’s sustainable development. Despite these challenges, there are some notable benefits of an
aging
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ageing
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population
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. Older people can contribute valuable experience and wisdom to society. Many retirees engage in voluntary work or provide guidance to younger generations, which helps maintain social stability and cohesion.
In addition
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, the growing demand for healthcare and leisure services for seniors creates more employment opportunities and stimulates economic growth in these sectors. In conclusion,
although
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population
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aging
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ageing
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can bring certain social and economic benefits
such
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as greater experience and new job opportunities, its negative effects, particularly the financial burden on governments and the shrinking
labor
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labour
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force
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force,
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are more significant.
Therefore
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, it is reasonable
to conclude
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that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

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task response
Task response: You answer the question well and give both sides. You say the bad side is bigger and give some reasons. To make it stronger, add more clear facts or examples from life.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: The essay is easy to read with a clear start and end. Each paragraph has one main idea. Use topic sentences to make the flow even clearer.
language
Language: Some words are not in the top 100. Try to use simple words and keep sentences short.
organization
Structure: Keep one big idea in each paragraph and use sign posts like 'first', 'also', 'finally' to guide the reader.
development
Development: Give a real example or small fact to back up points, like a policy or number of older people, but keep it simple.
stance
Clear view on the issue
organization
Good shape with intro, body, and end
argument
Sound points on both sides
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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