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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In recent years, young people have been presented with more career opportunities, including the option of working or travelling for a
year
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 after finishing high school and before starting university.
This
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 essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 choice. One clear advantage of taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
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 is that it allows students to develop personally and professionally before entering university. During
this
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 time, they can learn new skills, gain work experience, or explore different cultures through travel and volunteering.
Such
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 experiences often help them become more independent and confident about their future goals.
For example
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, many students who work during their
gap
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year
Use synonyms
 return to university with stronger time-management skills and clearer career ambitions.
On the other hand
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, taking a
year
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 off is not feasible for everyone. Many young people struggle to find suitable employment without prior qualifications, and travelling can be expensive.
Moreover
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, those who rely on scholarships or financial aid may find it difficult to postpone their studies. In
such
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 cases, a
gap
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year
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 might delay their academic progress and create unnecessary stress about future plans.
To conclude
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, taking a
gap
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year
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 after completing high school can be a valuable opportunity for those who can afford it and have a clear plan in mind.
However
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, it may not be suitable for students facing financial challenges or uncertainty about their future careers.

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development
Add more detail to each idea with a small fact or example to back up your point.
coherence
Use more linking words to join ideas smoothly.
structure
Give a short plan at the start and a brief sum up at the end.
structure
The essay has a clear form with an intro, body and closing.
balance
It looks at both sides of the topic and gives a view.
example
It uses some good example in the middle paragraph.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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