IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, residents who used to live in country
areas
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 have started to relocate to urban
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cities
Check wording
areas
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 globally,
thus
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 causing a lack of dwellers , which is a serious problem in these places. As the inevitable urbanisation process proceeds, it brings consequences in both positive and negative aspects, which will be elaborated in detail in
this
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 essay. A straightforward advantage the moving
people
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 might bring is the increase in labour. Big
cities
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 or urban
areas
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 usually possess more job opportunities, providing the citizens with higher salaries and various working options they choose
.
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from.
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Additionally
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, some individuals find it hard to get a job in the
cities
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due to
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 the limitation of distance, but not their actual personal ability.
For instance
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, Howie Lee, a famous entrepreneur in Taiwan, was living in the suburbs when he was in college and lived ten miles away from the company he was in, where two hours were wasted on transportation
time
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. After he moved downtown a year later, he started up his own company, hired a lot of talented employees who used to live in rural
areas
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 with accommodations provided, and eventually became really successful . The employees don't need to spend additional
time
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 transporting and can save
time
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 to work efficiently.
However
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, there are still some drawbacks if all the dwellers moved out of the countryside. Lack of workforce to maintain the city's basic operation will become the first problem, and potential issues like cultural heritage loss will arise simultaneously. Zhoudon, a non-urban area near Hsinchu, is a miserable example. A hundred-year-old tradition, which was a representative festival, ended because young
people
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 no longer stayed in that region. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 debate that we should keep those
people
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 from relocating to the
cities
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, I personally contend that
this
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 is a necessary process. The growing demands of workers are apparent in the urban
areas
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, making it more to the
cities
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 saves
time
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 for those residents who originally live countryside and saving a long
time
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 transporting.

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task response
Be clear about what you think at the start and say it again at the end.
coherence
Give 2 or 3 main ideas and show how they are tied to the question.
examples
Use simple, true examples and say how they help your point.
language
Use short, easy sentences and check for small grammar mistakes.
content
The essay shows the topic and plan a lot.
organization
There is a clear setup with intro, body and conclusion.
support
Some proof is used to back up the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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