Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no nee to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many have argued that we don'
t
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need
cinema
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,
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while
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since
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we can see the
films
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on our
phones
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or
tablets
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. Others say that to be fully enjoyed and get the best experience,
films
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must be seen in a
cinema
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. In
this
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essay, I'll explain both views and give my personal opinion
at the end
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. On the one hand , there is a significant difference between
films
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and electronic devices.
Firstly
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, the quality
,
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of, cinema's
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cinema's quality
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cinema
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is
way
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better than
tablets
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or
phones
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, and it has a far better experience.
Secondly
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, the atmosphere
,
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apply
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it
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apply
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gives you
this
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excited and happy vibe.
Additionally
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,
cinema
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has a bigger screen and a quieter atmosphere,
thus
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making it
way
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better than
phones
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and
tablets
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.
On the other hand
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,
cinema
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's tickets and snacks can be very expensive, it's like paying to get a better quality ,atmosphere and a vibe.
As a result
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, some people prefer to watch it in their homes, which is
way
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cheaper.
Furthermore
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, many exclusive movies or
films
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can'
t
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be watched
in
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on
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phones
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or
tablets
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,
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;
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the only
way
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to watch them is in a
cinema
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. Making
cinema
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way
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more popular.
To sum up
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,
phones
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and
tablets
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don'
t
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give the satisfaction that people like.
Moreover
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,
cinema
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offers all kinds of stuff , even exclusive movies or
films
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which can'
t
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be seen on
phones
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or
tablets
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.

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improvement
Explain your view with more clear reasons. Use a real example or small facts to back up each point.
organizing
Make one point per paragraph and link them with linking words.
conclusion
End with a short, strong opinion that restates your view.
content
The essay tries to cover both views and includes an opinion.
structure
There is a clear structure with 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' sections.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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