IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009. Write a summary of the information. Select and report the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009. Write a summary of the information. Select and report the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table gives information about
percentages
Correct article usage
the percentages
show examples
 of children joining four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentages of secondary school attendance decreased in all types of
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 except for community
schools
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, voluntary-controlled
schools
Use synonyms
 experienced the highest change in the given period. The proportion of students attending specialist
schools
Use synonyms
 was just above one in ten in 2000, and it fell to 10% in 2009.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of students attending grammar
schools
Use synonyms
 was 24% in 2000, and it
declined
Verb problem
had declined
show examples
 by half
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2009. The percentage of children who
joined to
Verb problem
attended
show examples
 voluntary-controlled
schools
Use synonyms
 was just over half in 2000, and it experienced the
highest
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
, and it fell from 52% to 20% between 2000 and 2009.
However
Linking Words
, community
schools
Use synonyms
 were chosen by 12% students in 2000
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it
increased
Check wording
number increased
show examples
 almost five times to just under 60% in the given years.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words schools with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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