IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The subjects and lesson contents are decided by the authorities such as the government. Some people argue that teachers should make the choice. Do you agree or disagree?

The school curriculum has been chosen by the
government
Use synonyms
 for a long time,
while
Linking Words
 some people are now stating that instructors should be making
this
Linking Words
 decision. I do not agree with the second notion, and my viewpoints will be explicated in the essay below. On one hand, the
government
Use synonyms
 control helps all
students
Use synonyms
 by setting core subjects and standard goals for fairness and quality, which is essential, so that private schools, colleges, and other educational institutions cannot create any disparity among
students
Use synonyms
 from different backgrounds. If teenagers from state schools and elite institutions get different content in class,
while
Linking Words
 the admission assessments are standardised for higher education. In that case, the resulting unequal opportunities for
further
Linking Words
 studies will lead to public discontentment
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 social injustice.
For example
Linking Words
, in China, the
government
Use synonyms
 has specified the requirement for innovation and preserving individuals with scientific knowledge, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 take STEM courses during obligatory education.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
exsist
Correct your spelling
exist
 some cases where
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 education system fails to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 the potential of all the
studends
Correct your spelling
students
, and
this
Linking Words
 is where teachers need to step in and tailor the subjects. For those who are physically or
mortory
Correct your spelling
motor
 impaired, they need special help from mentors
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 additional time for guidance or
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
 in curriculum to meet their ability level.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, A balance
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be set where
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should leave some room for teachers to cover extra topics when
students
Use synonyms
 have
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to cover them. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 must be the one to decide
curriculum
Correct article usage
the curriculum
show examples
 for the children with
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 balance, so that instructors can implement new methods for teaching and can cover some extra topics depending on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 ability to enhance their skills.

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task response
Plan your idea in a set order. Start with your view, give two clear reasons, then close with your idea. Use simple link words to show the flow.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one idea. Use clear links like 'first', 'next', 'also', and 'but'. Check that the result stays on track.
grammar
Use correct spell and grammar. Keep your sentences short. Avoid long run on sentences that may miss the point.
lexical resource
Choose words you know well. Do not use long or new words that you are not sure about.
strength
You present a clear view that the state should set the curriculum but with some space for teachers.
strength
You give a real example about China to show how a rule may affect study.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • teachers
  • students
  • subjects
  • topics
  • choice
  • decide
  • rule
  • standard
  • fair
  • equal
  • quality
  • learning
  • school
  • class
  • lesson
  • need
  • local
  • national
  • balance
  • freedom
  • control
  • framework
  • evidence
  • agree
  • disagree
  • compromise
  • future
What to do next:
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