IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the internet everyday from 2003-2006.

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the internet everyday from 2003-2006.
The given bar graph represents the rate of the British among five different
age
Use synonyms
 groups using the internet on a daily basis over the years 2003 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, the younger adults, in the 16-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, were the highest beneficiaries during the evaluated time. It is observed that as the 16-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 peaked
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 list, the lowest users were the elderly
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. A significant usage of over 80% was recorded among the teenagers and young adults throughout the years. A cent
percent
Check wording
apply
show examples
everyday use was even recorded in 2005, after which a 10% decline was noted in the following year. It is interesting to note that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the over 65 years
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
did not use
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 daily in the year 2003.
Although
Linking Words
 it was
intregated
Correct your spelling
integrated
 into their routine, it could only influence a marginal proportion of the elders at less than a one-fifth. The
middle aged
Use the right word
middle-aged
show examples
group
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
 25-44 and 45-54
age
Use synonyms
 groups, demonstrated a steady increase from around a half and 60%, respectively, in 2003 to reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
80%
relience
Correct your spelling
reliance
 in 2006. The 55-60
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 individuals showed a fluctuating rate
initially
Linking Words
 at around 30% and
then
Linking Words
 surged drastically to 50% in 2006.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: